Wait for it.. wait for it.. And here’s the Samuel-related meltdown

27 01 2012

I don’t feel like going into the details, all I know is that we had plans for tonight, he told me yesterday he might have to work late and he’d let me know by this afternoon. The details of him working late have been confirmed by a conversation I overheard today among his co-workers, but, he didn’t let me know by this afternoon, in fact, it’s 7:00 pm and I haven’t heard from him. Naturally, I feel all worked up and I want to send that devastating sarcastic text saying that he’s an asshole. It’s taking all the self-control in the world to not freak out at this moment. When being rational, this intense emotional response is over the fact that he didn’t text me several hours ago like he said, due to being busy at work. However, it’s a consideration thing.

I just feel really stupid… again. For relying on someone. I can wonder why over the years I haven’t been given the respect or consideration I deserve and I can answer that with in the past I haven’t acted in a way that was deserving of either of the two, but that time is over. Just a little consideration, is that too much?

And then I remind myself I’m feeling this way over a text.. but is it really just a text in the end? I don’t think it is, it’s more than that. Fucking jerk.

I pick real winners don’t I.


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